by Hex
Disclaimer: No I don't own them. I wish.
Special note: When I originally started this fic I had one goal in mind. I wanted to make Trowa a lifeguard. I had never read a fic where Trowa was a lifeguard and I felt that was a true injustice within the fandom. I mean doesn't Trowa's body just scream to be put in red swim trunks and have the silver whistle around his neck? OK maybe it's just me....... Hey! Neri, Raletha and Anne agree with me. It's so good not to be alone.^_^
Warnings: Let's see *ahem*; lots of bad language, angst, tons of pervy type humour, fluff, and drunk pilots. There is also a het. lemon.O.o Didn't see that one coming did ya?
Summary: More drunk fun at the bar. Wufei and Sally get to know each other.....*smirk* Duo and Heero have a little fun in the dark. Once again nothing with any redeeming socail value^_^
"Why did you feel it was necessary to slam your heel onto my foot?" Wufei demanded.
"To keep you from going to play pool with Duo and Heero." Sally retorted.
"So Duo does want Heero then. Excellent." Wufei stated.
"Yes. But he's shy when it comes to these sorts of things. Lion becomes lamb with matters of a romantic nature." Sally explained. "Two Hurricanes please."
"Oh no you don't. Maxwell told me not to except any shots from you." Wufei pointed out quickly as the bartender moved to create Sally's order. She smiled in response "And knowing Maxwell that means you are exceptionally cruel in this department. Otherwise he never would have warned me. Merely waited for the story about it later so he could laugh at me."
"Seems like you know Duo pretty well." Sally said, "Come on. I'm having it too. Or are you not man enough?"
"Hn." Wufei said as the shots appeared before them. He snatched his up and knocked it back quickly.
"See? It was good." Sally affirmed at the wondrous look on Wufei's face.
"I still don't trust you." Wufei responded, eyes narrowing as he put the shot glass back down.
"You're smarter than you look." Sally surmised then laughed. "Don't take me personally Wufei but you're wound to tight. You could use to mellow out a little. But don't worry I have just the thing for it. Booze and lots of it."
"Hn." Wufei rejoined "As long as it doesn't kill me." He couldn't believe it. He was starting to enjoy her company. Maybe this was what people meant by someone growing on you. He had to agree though, booze and lots of it. He ordered the next set of shots.
Duo and Heero had been playing pool for about an hour. Duo had spent most of it losing terribly. He was quite honestly a bad pool player. He loved the game though, especially with Heero leaning over like that to make shots. He pants just happened to hug his ass in the most enticing way. Duo had to literally sit on his hands at one point to avoid molesting him. Duo's inhibitions were deserting him as he began to flirt a little more than usual with Heero.
Duo was heading back towards the rooms with the couches to see how Trowa and Quatre were doing. Heero was currently breaking the seal[11]. Duo peered drunkenly around the corner of the alcove he dodged into once it clicked Trowa and Quatre were doing OK on their own. He and Heero had been drinking steadily while playing pool, thanks to their wonderful waitress. It took him a moment to focus but when he did he realized Trowa and Quatre were deep in conversation. They both looked kind of serious until Quatre quickly covered his mouth with his hands. Duo was sure he was blushing. Trowa merely laughed, his head thrown back. Duo cheered out loud exuberantly. He did his Happy Monkey Dance [12] around the alcove and went back to his blatant spying. Just then a pair of lips brushed his ear.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Heero slurred in his ear. Duo spun to face him and nearly fell over. Heero drunkenly steadied him.
"Quatre and Trowa!! SHHHhhhhhh!! They'll hear us. I want 'em to get together. Quatre thinks Tro is hot." Duo said turning to once again peer around the corner.
"Really? You're OK with that?" Heero asked.
"Well yeah!" Duo replied. "Q is my best bud and he deserves to get a little romance. Tro seems OK. S'all good then right?"
"Yeah. Guess so." Heero decided. "Duo?"
"Huh?" Duo asked, turning around.
As he did Heero's lips descended on his roughly. Heero forced his thumb into the corner of Duo's mouth causing the braided boy to open his mouth wide. The cobalt eyed boy's tongue swept into his mouth seeking to dominate it. Duo felt overwhelmed for a moment then pulled Heero to him desperately. He let his mouth be plundered while his hands explored the material covered contours of Heero's body. Heero slid them further into the alcove, away from the dimly lit hall. Heero finally broke the kiss on Duo's lips but dragged it down his throat biting and licking at its flesh. Duo moaned low in his throat and tried to rub himself against the Japanese boy.
"Duo?" Heero asked into the braided boy's neck.
"Yeah?" Duo replied.
"You taste like booze." Heero responded.
"So do you." Duo stated. "But don't stop touching me."
"Uh Duo, at this rate, I might fuck you here." Heero replied.
"That's waaaaay to tempting." Duo stated.
"That's what I'm thinking." Heero answered.
"You never know it could be even more fun..." Duo suggested.
"You're an exhibitionist. Why am I not surprised?" Heero asked rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.
"Because you know me so well." Duo replied while sending a questing hand up Heero's shirt.
The adventurous hand found a nipple and began to toy with it. Heero groaned in answer. Heero allowed himself the luxury of being touched by Duo for a few moments. After a short time Heero began to mimic some of the movements Duo was doing to him. Heero realized that this could end up being over quicker then he wanted when Duo's hands started rubbing his arousal. Heero returned the favor and was rewarded with Duo's face burying into his shoulder.
"We should stop now Duo." Heero said. "We're finishing this later."
"OK. Let's go embarrass Quatre now. He's fawned over Trowa enough." Duo said, pulling himself back together.
"You mean Trowa's had enough time to try and make a move." Heero countered.
"That too." Duo replied. "Wonder if they'll shag soon."
"Can we not talk about this now?" Heero whined. "I'd rather talk about when we're going to shag."
"You just said shag!" Duo declared. "And you just whined. You're sauced."
"Yeah. You helped remember?" Heero said, slipping his arm around Duo's waist.
Heero was past the point of caring whether or not someone saw them. All he really wanted to do was touch Duo. Well, that and let Duo touch him. Heero smiled softly and half-helped and half-hindered Duo's capacity to walk with his arm looped around the smaller boy's waist and stumbling along beside him. There was nothing that could have pulled Heero away from Duo at this point. Everything in the world was right.
"Be right back." Heero grumbled moving away from Duo.
"You have to piss again don'tcha?" Duo asked. Heero muttered something unintelligible in response. "Told ya you'd be pissin' like a race horse once you broke the seal. But would you listen to me? Noooooooo. Now look where it gotcha."
"Yeah. Yeah. Blahblah." Heero muttered waving a hand erratically in Duo's direction.
"SUP!" Sally chirped as she pounced on the unsuspecting Heero.
"Uh Hi." Heero said flatly. "I gotta go."
"Aw man, you broke the seal. Fuck. Now I'm going to have to go in like ten minutes. Stupid boys!" Sally whined.
"Whaddya bitchin' about now woman?" Wufei demanded.
"Boys like you." Sally replied.
"For the hundredth time, I'm a man not a boy!" Wufei stated and stomped his foot to illustrate this point.
"Hey Quatre, what say we do a Purple Fuck?" Sally said as she hoped over to slam down beside the boy on the couch. She grinned happily at the fact that it forced Trowa and Quatre closer together.
"A WHAT!?!?!?" Quatre squeaked.
"A purple fuck. They're goooooood!!" Sally said, " Me and FeiFei just did one a little while ago. Right FeiFei?"
"I told you to stop calling me that, it's irritating!" Wufei snarled.
"FeiFei. I like it." Duo said, smiling evilly.
"It's so cute though FeiFei." Sally said, springing up to pounce on Wufei. Sally teasingly ran her fingertip along the edge of his bottom lip. Wufei snatched her hand away and glared at her. Sally smiled pertly and licked his chin. Wufei jolted in shock and fell, tripping over nothing in drunken grace, taking Sally who's hand he had been holding, down with him.
"Oooooooo not in public FeiFei." Sally purred as she lay sprawled on top of him.
"Goddammit get off of me!" Wufei snarled. "And stop calling me that."
"You're such a grump." Sally pouted and disengaged herself from the Chinese boy.
"Hey besides Wufei if you hadn't dragged her down she wouldn't've landed on ya." Duo slurred, pointing at the blushing Wufei who was smoothing his hair back.
"Go to hell Maxwell." Wufei snapped, still flushed.
"Been there. Done that. They sent me back because they were afraid I'd take over." Duo said, smiling cheekily.
"Now that I believe hell spawn." Wufei stated.
"I'm not hell spawn I'm a very sweet young man." Duo replied, trying in vain to stop swaying. The only response he got was barks of laughter from the floor, the couch, and behind him. Arms slid around his waist as someone's hot breath chuckled in his ear.
"Nice try. I heard you laugh. I'm drunk, not deaf." Duo said, stepping away. "You, mister aren't getting any so tbbth!" Duo raspberried. Heero replied by sealing his lips around Duo's exposed tongue. The kiss was interrupted by a shout.
"WAHOO!!! FREE PORN!!" Sally voice penetrated Duo's drunken passion.
"Sal, I never pegged you as a voyeur." Duo said, slipping his arms around Heero's waist.
"If the subjects are hot enough." Sally replied, looking drunkenly smug.
"All right no more porn talk you two. Let's go home I'm getting to that hungry and thirsty stage." Quatre said, standing up from the couch.
"How can I be so thirsty when I drank so much last night?" Sally and Duo chimed in together. Quatre shook his head.
"There is something severely wrong with both of you." Quatre stated
"It's part of our charm." Sally retorted, smiling.
"Yeah right. The only charm you have is the one on your bracelet." Quatre countered.
"It's pretty too. You and Duo are so nice." Sally said then shoved said bracelet right under Wufei's nose. "See! Look, look!! PRETTY!"
"Uh yeah. Pretty." Wufei said, nodding and backing away slowly. Sally's eyes narrowed.
"Well it is! Hmph. Like a boy would know anyway." Sally pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well if Duo and Quatre got it for you what does that say Hmmmmmm?" Wufei demanded
"Duo is granted, a boy. Quatre however, is a man. Take lessons!" Sally retorted and ran a fond hand through Quatre's hair. "Too bad he's not interested in me. He's got his eye on someone else."
"Sally shut up." Quatre said, his forehead wrinkling in annoyance as Duo bitched in the background about how he wasn't a boy.
"Sorry." Sally said, looking apologetic and staring at the ground. "I won't say any more. Even though I think you guys would at the very least look cute together."
"Sally......" Quatre said warningly.
"OKOKOKOKOK! I'm done. Besides I like picking on him better." Sally said, humming happily and nodding towards Wufei. "He bristles when he gets mad. I don't think I could ever get bored of that."
"Sally!" Quatre said, throwing his hands skyward in exasperation. "At least TRY and be nice!"
"Nice? What's that?" Sally asked, the picture of drunken innocence.
"THWAP!" Quatre sounded, flicking Sally in the forehead.
"Owee! WOMAN BEATER!" Sally declared, pointing at Quatre.
"You want a woman beater? Come here!" Quatre said, jumping over the couch to pounce on blonde haired girl. Sally eeped and ran from Quatre, shrieking about how it was time to leave and that Rashid was probably waiting for them outside right then. Quatre chased Sally around until she tried hiding behind Wufei who merely grabbed her and handed her over to the vengeance bent blonde boy.
"Wufei you traitor!" Sally screeched
"Who am I betraying? Quatre was trying to help me." Wufei pointed out, drunkenly smug.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....CHOMP!" Sally said as she bit down on Quatre's hand.
"Augh!" Quatre wailed. "Drool!"
"BWAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" Sally laughed maniacally, standing in victory.
"All right children it's time to leave!" Duo said "EWWWWwwwwwww! Don't wipe that shit on my shirt!"
"But she drooled on me!" Quatre wailed.
"Now I have to sanitize my shirt! Quatre you bastard!" Duo said, grabbing Quatre in a headlock. "Noogie!"
"Lemme go! You braided son of a bitch!" Quatre screeched his face squashed into Duo's side.
"Braided son of a bitch hey? Well now I'm keeping you like this." Duo declared. "OW!! Mother fuck!" Duo sprang away from the blonde, who still had a large portion of Duo's shirt in his mouth so the braided boy didn't get far.
"Fuck man. Have you been taking lessons from Sally or what?" Duo screeched, rubbing his masticated side.
"Yup!" Quatre said, grinning and releasing Duo's gnawed shirt.
"Quatre you shouldn't do that, Trowa likes biters." Heero stated, swaying and blinking. Trowa made an odd strangled sound.
"Sounds interesting." Quatre said then grinned while blushing.
"HA! You've had enough to drink! You're cut off buddy boy!" Duo said and slung his arm over Quatre's shoulder.
"Yes Mommy." Quatre said, blinking. Trowa was still making strangled noises in the background.
"OW! Fuck you too!" Heero bellowed as he rubbed the back of his head. Trowa was rubbing his knuckles in a very satisfied way.
"Duo! Your man's trying to steal Quatre's love slave." Sally called. Trowa began to strangle again.
"Heero you HUSSY!" Duo wailed, springing away from Quatre "Can I watch?" Trowa's strangling noises intensified.
"What in the hell?" Heero demanded, confused.
"Well you said 'fuck you too' to Trowa so obviously I thought you were offering, Duo called you a hussy and asked to watch." Sally said, grinning as the group moved to leave the bar.
"All of you are quite strange." Wufei muttered.
"That's what makes us fun." Duo said.
"And interesting." Quatre declared, pointing skyward in victory.
"Let's just say we're special." Sally stated.
"Yeah real special." Heero mumbled.
"What was that boy-o?" Sally asked.
"Nothing." Heero said innocently, moving to sling an arm over Duo's shoulder as they exited the building.
"Heero I can't believe you chickened out when faced with this harpy." Wufei declared indignantly.
"What was that? I do believe you insulted me little boy. Care to take this outside?" Sally asked, looking cocky.
"We are outside now." Wufei replied.
"Even better." Sally grinned then pulled Wufei's ponytail.
"OW!" Wufei wailed then grabbed Sally around the waist who squealed and shrieked. Wufei merely grinned evily.
"You're ticklish!" He said, sounding quite smug.
"AM NOT!" Sally replied hotly.
"Really?" Wufei asked, amused. The Chinese boy put his fingers right under Sally's armpits. Sally stood, her face slowly crinkling.
"Augh! Fine I'm ticklish!!!! DON'T DO THAT!" Sally wailed, jumping away from Wufei.
"BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wufei crowed, doing an excellent imitation of Sally's evil laugh and victory stance.
"All right. All rowdies in the van!" Abdul called from the parking lot.
The group piled into the van and cranked up the radio. The ride back to Quatre's home was interrupted only by the stop to 24hr McDonalds drive thru for "food". Said "food" was eaten amid much terrible singing along with the radio and as many crude jokes as Duo and Sally could think of. Almost everyone's energy was lagging by the time they made it to Quatre's house.
"I'm sleepy." Sally said, yawning. "The Alca-ma-hol[13] made me seepee."
"I'm starting to come down too." Quatre stated, rubbing his eyes and smiling tiredly.
"A glass or two of water then I believe it's time for bed." Abdul said as the group got out of the van. "Now it's waaay past my bed time, so gents and lady I'm outta here and into my bed. I'll be in the guest house if you need anything."
"Yeah I could really use some water right now." Trowa said, rubbing his stomach.
"Alrighty into the kitchen we go." Duo said and bounced into the house.
The group drank water and chitchatted about the bar. Comparing the "new" bar to others in the area. Duo and Heero sat side by side cuddling while Trowa stood behind the chair Quatre sat in. Sally sat opposite Quatre and Wufei stood a few feet from the group leaning against the counter.
"For rooms grab which ever one you want except the blue room which is mine and the room with the mahogany four poster bed. That's my dad's. It's the second last on the right." Quatre said smiling. "I'm going to take a walk in the garden to sober up a bit more before bed."
"I'll come with you." Trowa said and followed Quatre as he walked out the kitchen door.
"I am going to bed." Wufei said and left as well.
"We're going to my usual room." Duo said, smiling at Sally. Sally shook her head and smiled at the besotted pair. They were going to be loud tonight. A pagan pervert evil Sally did a naughty little dance inside her head to celebrate Duo's sexual fortune as she tried to mentally find a room that would be far enough away that she wouldn't hear Duo's 'Oh Heero's. She decided on her second favorite bedroom. It was painted green with a queen-size bed. 'MMmmmmmm. Queen-size bed' Sally purred mentally.
"Comfy" She muttered as she stood and walked out of the kitchen to the stairs. As she climbed the stairs, walked down the hall and through the doorway that lead to the room adjacent to Quatre's father's room she was greeted by the sight of a shirtless Wufei.
"Nuh-huh! No way buddy." Sally said, her hands going to her hips. "This room is mine honey. Find your own."
"And what makes it your room woman?" Wufei demanded. "I don't believe you live here and I don't see your name on it anywhere so I suppose you're S.O.L."
"Nice try. It's mine. Out." Sally said, looking bored.
"No. How about this......" Wufei began, smiling slowly. "I'll fight you for it."
"Sounds good to me." Sally replied, throwing Wufei a little off with a cocky grin.
She then leaned against the wall and extracted her legs and feet from her boots. Wufei watched her in fascination. She was exasperating, bossy, obnoxious, and completely indelicate. She also had very, very nice legs. He couldn't help but stare at the way her legs curved at the knee and the shape of her calves were amazing all the way down to her slim ankles and dainty feet. Wufei shook his head, snorting, and glared in the other direction.
"Problem Feifei?" Sally asked. "Not backing out now are we? You know you could just give me this room."
"No way woman. This is my room." Wufei retorted.
"So you seem to think." Sally parried and then lunged for Wufei who fell back onto the bed. Sally draped her arms casually across Wufei's chest as she straddled him and smiled. Wufei smiled back and flipped them over pinning her to the bed. He smiled down at her.
"I don't think you can beat me woman." Wufei retorted. Sally responded by head butting him and pushed him off with the opportunity the shock gave her. Wufei recovered a little more quickly then Sally expected. He grabbed her and pulled her with him as he fell off the bed. They landed with a tangled thump on the floor.
"Owee." Sally whined.
"Are you all right? Where are you hurt?" Wufei asked concerned, trying to untangle himself from Sally without hurting her.
"No where in particular." Sally replied, arranging herself on top of Wufei quickly, leaving him immobile. "Gotcha"
Sally's breath was fanning Wufei's face and it was coming out in hot little pants. Wufei craned his neck and sealed his lips over hers. The pair began to tangle on the floor pleasurably in a bid for dominance, which didn't really matter since they had both found their way onto the bed together. Who had pulled up whom was unclear. Wufei ran his hands everywhere on her body he could. He discovered, much to his delight, that Sally's halter had fallen on one side to reveal a breast. He kneaded then laved it while Sally withered and clutched at him. The Chinese boy's thoughts were fuzzy but Sally was warm and soft underneath him. Somehow he managed to take Sally's underwear off and he sent them flying away from the bed - in which direction he would never be able to specify. The rest of her clothes followed. Sally tugged and freed Wufei from his pants. Where those ended up was another mystery to be solved later. Wufei's fingers quested low and brushed a small nub hidden within the folds between her legs. The slight touch made her gasp and tremble. The reaction so fascinated Wufei that he continued those ministrations until Sally wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer. Wufei plunged into her. A small, more in control part of his brain registered the small odd noise unlike the rest she had made and felt her tense. It stilled him while he kissed her. After she began to relax he rocked his hips into her again. The pair thrust together in an odd rhythm until they crescendoed. They teetered then fell off the pinnacle together and slept.
Wufei and Sally's *cough* scene is vague and quick for good reason. They're drunk. And I wanted it vague. Just accept it^_^
[11] A term I picked up from a friend of mine. Basically the first person that pees "breaks the seal" and then not only do they have to pee every five seconds but so does everyone they drink with.
[12] Registered Trade Mark of Minion Duo-chan^_^
[13] Like sax-a-ma-phone. If you watch Simpsons you probably know what I'm talking about.
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