by Hex
Lyrics are here: here
Dedicated to: Haraamis :)
I followed her, watching the artificial light play with the strands of her hair. It made them shimmer in different colours. It wasn't quite like watching her run her hand through her hair in pure sunlight but is was beautiful none the less. I had to smirk to myself. Nothing spoke of utter infatuation with a woman like watching light play in her hair when her hips were wiggling inches from your face.
I watched her walk up the stairs ahead of me. The business suit she wore was a plain gray. Completely boring but it fit her every curve just right. Tailored suits were wondrous things. The heels she wore clicked on the metal stairs and echoed in the abandoned stairwell. I looked off to the side. Nothing good would come of gawking like a love struck moron.
I was glaring at the wall out of the corner of my eye when Relena screamed. Suddenly she was falling, the highlights in her hair flashing at me as her body rushed towards me. I grabbed her around the waist and shifted my weight quickly. Being slammed into the wall by her momentum forced the air from my lungs. We were leaning against the wall panting. I had my arms wrapped around her from behind and had my head resting back against the wall.
"What the hell happened?" I demanded.
"I lost my footing. I think my heel snapped," Relena gasped out. She leaned her head back to rest against my shoulder.
"Your heel? As in your shoe?" I snarled this more in disbelief than anything.
"No, the heel on my pants," Relena snapped back.
"You scared me," I retorted.
"Thankfully you're quick on your feet." Relena sighed.
"You're not hurt then?" I asked. I realized I was running my hands up and down her arms. She was leaning heavily on me and I was breathing in her shampoo. My panting was making the small hairs by her ear float and dance.
"The only thing hurt is my vanity," Relena said. She pulled herself from my arms and tossed a smile over her shoulder. She put a hand on the railing and pulled off her shoes. They dangled from her fingertips as she made it the rest of the way up the stairs in her stocking clad feet.
More of the security team was waiting by the doorway to the hall. Relena nodded to them as she breezed into her room. I had been the only one to walk her up the flight of stairs. I shooed the rest of them away to give her at least a small break with a little personal space. The conference she had attended was long, and in my opinion the fine work of idiots and blowhards. In other words, it was a bunch of politicians in a room debating what was best for other people. I could tell she felt drained and exasperated. When Relena started to mutter things about mules and orifices I knew she needed time to herself.
The security team had already searched the hotel room by the time we got there, but I checked it over quickly before giving her the OK to settle in. The rest of the security team went packing as I made my most intimidating 'annoyed face'. Relena gave me a grateful smile as the last one of them cleared out of her room.
I watched as she flopped gracelessly into the chaise in the living area. It was another hotel and I couldn't help but wonder if she had a real home to go to any more. It seemed every time I saw her she was living in another hotel room. They were all well kept, lovely and stylish but they lacked any sign of Relena's personality. There was nothing there I could pick up, hold in my hands and declare it to be undeniably her. The concept of a home suited her so much more than the artificial glamour of a hotel room meant to cater to the pampered upper class. She deserved a place that showed who she was, her own place where she could leave her mark.
Relena picked up the right shoe from her lap. She held up the shoe by the heel that just barely hung on. She tilted her head to the side and peered at me through the gap.
"All those precautions; the bullet proof vest, the bomb searches, security staff, the self-defense training and here I nearly get laid low by my favourite pair of heels."
"Weren't those the shoes that you claimed would be the death of you at the L2 summit?" I asked. I made sure I sounded bored but it took a lot of will power not to give her a small smile. I dodged as the shoe sailed past the space where my head had been.
"When did you become such a brat?" Relena huffed. She was smiling at the same time, so I knew I had helped make her happy.
A part of me winced at the question. Teasing didn't seem to be part of my nature, at least outwardly. But that didn't mean I wasn't capable of it, or that I would never do it. I just wasn't like some people who it flowed from naturally. For me, to become that close to someone took time and it showed what she meant to me. I knew she didn't mean to throw it back in my face, she didn't even know she was doing it.
"I'm sorry, Wufei." Her voice was soft. I had been too quiet for too long.
"I wasn't sure how to respond." I said simply. It was the truth. Lying and saying it was nothing would have her wrenching the truth from me anyway. I didn't engage in futile fights if I could avoid them. Well, any futile fights except this last one, but it wasn't quite a fight. More like a personal quest.
"Wufei, Heero told me that you're leaving the Preventers," Relena said. She was sitting with her hands folded in her lap, looking alert and concerned at the same time. I smiled at her.
"Yes, I am." I didn't want to say anything more beyond that, at least not yet. My phone buzzed in my pocket, saving me from answering the questions she would ask me.
"Chang." Was the dry, nasal voice in my ear.
"Yuy." I tried to keep my voice neutral, but every now and then, a touch of animosity coloured my voice when I talked to him.
"I'm finishing the lobby sweep then I will be there to relieve you."
"Yes." It wasn't a discussion. He would come up here and I would leave. That was the way things were. It was Heero and Relena who were romantically involved. No matter how I felt when it was just Relena and I. Those times had become fewer and fewer lately. I knew that Heero would begin to realize my feelings for Relena eventually. I also knew he would take steps to come between Relena and I. Heero wasn't oblivious or foolish. He knew me. We were friends after a fashion, although that relationship had become strained.
I knew I had very little time left to place my cards on the table so to speak, so I dropped to my knees in front of Relena. I pulled my wallet from the back pocket of my pants. I took out the card and place it in Relena's hands.
"This is where I will be," I said softly, "It's my own security company. It's just a small home and business security consultant service. Nothing complicated that will steal my free time away. But I think it's something I will enjoy. I'm looking forward to the freedom of being my own boss. There are a lot of reasons I've decided to do this, all of them my own. Still there are things you should know, that you deserve to know." I closed my hands over hers, "If you ever find that you feel lost, or need someone, need me, please don't hesitate to come and find me. If you call and you need me to do so, I will find you." Relena opened her mouth. I cut her off before she could begin. "I'm not leaving the Preventers in an attempt to run or hide from anything, but rather as a logical progression in my life. This, even though it's something I'm good at, isn't something I want to do forever. It isn't as if I feel dissatisfied either, but I am feeling the need for my own life. I just wanted you to know that if you ever feel the need or want to look for me, you're one person I would like to have find me."
Relena waited until I finished before shifting her gaze to the window. She was biting the inside of her lip. I knew she was thinking it over. Dissecting it in her head the things I had said, things I had implied and things that she now knew hadn't been said even though they rolled like a fault just under the surface, ready to split open and expose a gaping chasm. I had known before I even began to speak, that before I left the room I would have shown myself to her entirely. Not baring my soul in a poorly written melodrama but giving her just enough information for her keen mind to fill in the gaps. So the truth would be for her to acknowledge or ignore. If she wanted, she could interpret it in a friendly manner, even if the truth was not quite that. Or, if she wanted, she could see the full reality of it. That I was in love with her and that all she had to do was come to me, or ask me to come to her.
I pulled myself up from the floor, but before that, I pressed my lips gently, just once, to the tips of her fingers. Her fingers twitched around the thick paper of the business card. I let her hands fall back into her lap and made my way to the door, taking one last glance in her direction. I liked it when she was pensive and the sunset light her hair up, making it more of a red then it's normal gold. I was barely one step away from the door before it swung open.
I gave Yuy the barest of nods as he walked into the room while I left. I thought I would feel more of a distaste, more of something for him, but the truth was, I still respected him. I paused, halfway out the door. I turned and looked at him.
"Yuy?"
"Yes?"
"Goodbye," I said.
It was the first instance, in a length of time I hadn't noticed had passed until that moment, in which Heero turned and gave me a smile. I gave one back and made my way to the elevators. I didn't look back to see if Relena was watching me leave or not.
I had implied a good deal when I spoke to Relena. I had planned to say more. Had mentally rehearsed more, what I had said was barely half of the things in my mind. But I also implied one important thing, that I wasn't demanding anything of her. That she didn't have to choose. That whatever I implied, I let her know that I could live, as the other man.
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