Disclaimer: We don't own the pilots, the girls do and they and Trowa will kick our arses if we claim otherwise.
Notes: This is an early Birthday gift for the Evil Overlord, Hex-sama. We regret to inform that non-idiotic fangirl was hurt in the making of this fic. Big thanks to Lady Shadowphyre for the quick beta.
"I don't believe this," Alexa snorted in disgust. "Another attack against one of our top agents."
"These people have no idea who they are dealing with," Raberta rolled her eyes, and adjusted her halo. She'd polished it ever so carefully that morning so was taking every opportunity to show off its extra special shine.
Alexa smiled sweetly, that same smile that had made those in the know quake in their boots. Their enemy had yet to recognise it for what it truly was. "I think it's time to call in the big guns," she said.
"You don't mean…" Raberta stared at her, the evil gleam in her eyes quite at odds with her sweet innocent persona.
"Yes," Alexa replied. "I do." Her fingers reached for the phone, the special bright pink phone that she kept by the side of her computer. She dialled the number quickly and a man's voice answered.
"Heero Yuy," the voice sounded gruff as though he had been interrupted in the middle of something important.
"Is Relena there?" Alexa asked, twirling her red horns absently with one finger.
"Excuse me a moment." There was a scuffling noise in the background.
"Relena Peacecraft-Yuy here. How can I help you?"
"The Pink Panthers." Alexa spoke the code phrase quickly, knowing that Relena would know what it meant.
"Understood and acknowledged," Relena hung up and Alexa dialled the next number.
"Hi, you've reached the residence of Hilde and Duo Maxwell. We're unable to come to the phone right now because Hilde's having her evil way with me." Duo sniggered. "Ow, babe, that hurt."
"Good, " Hilde replied. "Hilde here. Sorry about that, my husband's in a …playful mood tonight. How can I help you?"
"The Pink Panthers."
"Understood and acknowledged." There was a pause. "Duo can beg for forgiveness later. Thanks, A."
"Dorothy's just arrived," Raberta announced. She frowned. "I don't know how she always knows there's a crisis on before we've announced it."
"It's the residuals of the ZERO system," Alexa commented, absently. "It's the same way she always knows where all the Gundam pilots are, and what they are doing at any given moment." She grinned evilly. "I do so love the way she provides us with video tapes of it as well."
"Oh yes," Raberta replied. "We're very lucky that she's using her abilities for the powers of good." She frowned. "It's strange though…that the ability only allows her to observe and transfer 3x4 lemon onto video, and none of the others."
"Oh that," Alexa smiled. "It's the yaoi factor. I read a research paper on it once. Very...interesting." She picked up the phone and dialled the next number.
"Good evening, this is Quatre speaking. How can I help you?" Alexa smirked and Raberba shot her a glare.
"He's with Trowa, remember?" she hissed.
"Shh, Bob, he'll hear you," Alexa rolled her eyes. "Besides I'm good. I don't use the pink stick for that sort of thing anymore. I'm a reformed character, remember?"
"Riiight," Raberta - who usually went by the name Bob so that she wouldn't get confused with her distant cousins, the Raberbas - did not seem convinced.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" Quatre sounded very polite, but Alexa knew that they were treading on dangerous ground.
"I'm looking for Catherine Bloom." Changing the subject quickly seemed like the more sensible approach.
"She's in the kitchen talking to Trowa." The two women could almost see Quatre's frown, even though the vid function was off. "Who shall I say is calling please?"
"A friend," Alexa replied. Darn it, that Quatre was too observant for his own good. Catherine had hidden her role in their organisation well, which only served to reinforce the fact that Trowa wasn't the only infiltrator in the family.
Dorothy entered the room and helped herself to a chair. "What's it this time?" she drawled. "Character bashing, NCS fics, an outbreak of little ones or angels?" Dorothy shuddered.
"Girl bashing and Duo NCS fic all in one," Bob pulled up the computer screen and showed Dorothy the messages, which had taken them to defcon 3. "This situation needs immediate containment before things get…nasty."
"Do the boys know?"
Bob snorted. "Of course not! Give us some credit. Do they know that we've been protecting their cute arses for the past how many years? Do they even know our organisation exists?"
"Don't get your bra in a knot," Dorothy rolled her eyes. "It doesn't go with that whole innocent act you seem to think people are still buying."
"They aren't?" Bob's lower lip quivered, before she sighed in defeat and gave up the act altogether. "It's the company I'm keeping," she declared sadly.
"Ssh," Alexa waved a hand in their direction. "The Pink Panthers," she spoke into the phone clearly.
"Understood," Catherine replied. "I'll be in as soon as I've retrieved my equipment." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "My darling brother and his husband have got rather kinky in their sex life...but then you ladies know that already." The phone went dead.
"I hope no one overheard that," Alexa gave the other two operatives a worried glance.
"Catherine would be using the scrambler," Dorothy reassured her. "Who else do you need to contact?"
"Une, Sally and Noin," Alexa looked down the list. "I'll phone Une and get her to notify the others as we're on a deadline." It was fortunate that they were all working the same shift at Preventer's HQ.
To her surprise a male voice answered the phone. "Preventer Chang."
"Umm, I'm looking for Lady Une." Alexa exchanged a worried glance with Dorothy and Bob, as Wufei's voice sounded over the speakerphone. It was weird that all the calls had been answered by the boys. Maybe the current problem was more widely spread than had been first thought.
"She's in a meeting."
"This is important," Alexa tried not to sound too impatient. After all she was a professional and this was a routine mission.
"So is the meeting."
"Here, let me." Bob grabbed the phone. "Wufei, dear. Get your arse into the meeting and give your illustrious commander the damn phone."
"I beg your pardon?" Wufei didn't sound very impressed. "Who is this?" The sound of a female voice could suddenly be heard in the background and Wufei muttered something under his breath.
"Good morning, this is Lady Une, how can I help you."
"The Pink Panthers," Bob said. "And could you please pass the message along to Sally and Noin?"
"All hands on deck?" Une sounded surprised. It had been a while since all operatives had been required for a mission.
"Yes," Bob answered. "We have a bad feeling about this one." Alexa and Dorothy nodded. "Oh, and Une," she added sheepishly. "Could you please apologise to Wufei for me."
Meanwhile on the other side of town, two girls rushed home from school discussing their evil plots.
"Besides," said one of them, "she thinks she is so important, like she is the queen of the world or something like that."
The second girl looked at her friend for a moment with puzzled eyes. "She was the queen of the world," she said, but after she saw the rage on her friend's eyes she concluded, "but she sucked at it!"
MaryKoi smiled after she heard that. She was glad that ChibiSue agreed with her. The pair of friends had spent a lot of time writing and talking about their new obsession. It was called Gundam Wing and it was everything their teenage hearts desired. As far as MaryKoi had managed to discover, Gundam Wing was a romantic story between five homosexual teenage boys fighting against some annoying female characters who persecuted them. It was also rumoured that the setting was some kind of war and that helped a lot with the emotional scenes.
Soon the pair arrived at MaryKoi's home and assumed their normal positions in front of the computer screen.
"So what shall we do now, Koi?" asked ChibiSue. "We can work on our Duo NCS fic or we can check the mailing lists."
"I think we should go to the mailing lists. We posted that Relena hating message yesterday and I'm sure by now we have some people that agree with us. After all, the little queen isn't popular at all. The fandom preference for yaoi couples proves it!"
"Let's see," said ChibiSue looking at the screen. "We have one reply!"
"What does it say?"
ChibiSue started reading in a high pitch voice: "I hate to shatter your illusions, kids, but Relena is a very capable and resourceful character. You might try actually watching the series before you attempt to inflict any more posts of this nature on this ML."
MaryKoi raised her head and stared at the screen. "We don't need that! We've read enough fanfiction to know about the series characters!"
"It doesn't end there," announced ChibiSue and she cleared her throat before continuing, "I'd also like to remind you that character bashing, whether it be Relena or ANY Gundam Wing character is not tolerated on this mailing list, and is against list rules."
"Rules?" interrupted MaryKoi. "What's this? School? We don't need rules!"
ChibiSue didn't comment and instead kept reading. "Therefore you are twacked for two days while you rethink your ideas.
Signed, Alexa (list admin with a big pink stick)"
"What?" screamed MaryKoi. "She can't do that! Not when we have this whole Hilde masculinity post planned!"
"I think that Alexa is evil!" whined ChibiSue.
"Who does she think she is?" asked MaryKoi as she got up from her chair with a disgusted look on her face. "I can believe she likes Relena and has a pink stick! I bet she is a homophobic and just doesn't want to see poor Hee-chan and Duo together!"
ChibiSue nodded. "There is no other explanation."
"We need to defend Hee-chan's and Duo's love!" said MaryKoi "It's the right thing to do."
"So what shall with do?" asked ChibiSue, looking at MaryKoi with admiration.
"We need to attack!" said MaryKoi with an over dramatic tone. "And if we will do whatever is needed Love shall prevail!"
As if the sky had heard what the teenagers had planned, a heavy rain started falling on the city and angry thunders could be heard above the nasal voices of the girls.
"It is done!" said MaryKoi, taking a step back to observe her masterpiece.
"Just one click and it will be alive," announced ChibiSue.
At the same time the girl pushed the enter key, a bright ray appeared on the sky and the havens roared louder. The girls' giggles could be barely heard as they stared at the computer screen, the words "Death to the GW Girls ML" clearly displayed on the screen.
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