by Anne
Disclaimer : The characters of Jade Weston, Megabyte Damon, Kevin Wilson, Lisa Davis, Adam Newman and Ami Jackson belong to Roger Damon Price, Thames/Tetra and ITV Television. So do General William Damon and Colonel Masters (who appear in name only)
Alex and Jamie MacDonald belong to me and should not be used without permission.
Telepathy is indicated by [ ]
As Adam materialised he found himself standing on a beach. For a moment he almost thought that he was still on Taphini, but quickly realised the movement of the ocean was the only similarity between the two as he saw the lights from the surrounding hills reflected on the water. He shivered, though he wasn’t sure it was entirely from the cold, and wished he’d brought a jacket. It might be summer on this side of the globe but like his native Australia, the evenings were beginning to get chilly as autumn grew nearer.
"I love this place." Adam jumped as Lisa’s voice sounded nearby. In the half dark he could see her sitting on a large jagged rock. Even watching her silhouette made him realise that she'd left the girl behind he'd once known and become a beautiful young woman. "Watching the waves reminds me of the island," she continued almost to herself.
So she'd come here to be reminded of what she'd left behind? That sounded promising. Maybe she might be more open to coming back than he'd first thought. Think positive, Adam, he told himself. Maybe if he came across that way it might help dispel some of her own doubts and fears.
He walked over, feeling the damp sand sticking to his shoes, and sat beside her. At least she seemed calmer than she had when she’d left the ship. That was a relief. Hopefully she would stay here long enough to hear what he had to say. As he tried to work out what exactly he was going to say, he glanced around. It was so open on this beach, so exposed and isolated. A long expanse of sand and rocks, with nothing inbetween. Even the lights from the hills seemed miles away.
He ran the sole of his shoe down the side of the rock, trying to shake some of the sand off. Somehow he felt better for having something to do while he was putting his thoughts together. It seemed to make it easier for some reason, gave him something else to concentrate on. "You still miss it then?" Great way to start, Adam. Just what she needs to hear.
Lisa turned to face him, solemn eyes meeting his own, looking past whatever he projected into his very soul. He allowed his gaze to linger, the way her longer hair suited her, framing her dark face. He noted absently that even her nose was perfect, the cute way it flattened ever so slightly at the bottom, and wondered how hard she would rail against the notion of any part of her being described as cute. God, he was supposed to be convincing her to come back to them, not getting sidetracked by how beautiful she was. Looking at her again made him realise just how much he’d missed her. Lisa had been the first person he’d really connected with since…
"Yes I still miss it." Lisa’s reply interrupted Adam’s train of thought. "I miss being a Tomorrow Person too you know. There were times after I left when I felt so alone, so vulnerable. I kept telling myself that I’d done the right thing. After a while I started to believe it." She hadn't been the only one who'd felt alone. Even though he'd had the others, she hadn't been there and that had made the difference.
"Do you still believe it?" Adam couldn’t resist asking the obvious. Part of him wanted to know, needed to know.
Lisa nodded, the pale glow of the moonlight reflecting off her red sweatshirt as she hugged it closer to keep out the cold. Red suited her. Come on, Adam, try and stay focused. She could be wearing an old sack and you'd think it suited her.
"I think that’s why what Megabyte said really hurt me. I know I did the right thing, I know in here I did." Lisa pointed to her head to emphasis her words, though her voice lacked that sound of conviction that should have been noticeable if she'd really believed what she was telling him. What Megabyte had said hurt her because a part of her was scared he might be right. Part of her knew she shouldn't have left, Adam could see it reflected in her eyes, just as part of her was begging him to tell her she'd been right. But he couldn't, not when he believed so strongly that she hadn't.
"But it wasn’t easy. He made it sound as thought I just left and never looked back. I did look back. For a long time I wondered if there could have been another way… A way which wouldn’t have hurt the people I cared about. But there wasn’t. I couldn’t take the chance of something happening to Mom. I just couldn’t. I’d already lost one parent, I couldn’t risk losing another." Walking away was never easy, but it still wasn't always the right thing to do. Surely if she'd told him her plans and her worries, they could have found another solution. Any other solution to keep her away from the path she'd chosen. She looked up at him those eyes searching his, seeming to almost be begging for absolution for what she'd done. An absolution he couldn't give her.
Adam nodded, unsure of the right thing to say and yet trying to show some support in the hope it might help her to talk. An inner voice laughed at him. The same way you talk about your problems? Try practising what you preach. "I know what it’s like to lose someone close, Lisa. Believe me I know. Don’t worry about Megabyte. He’s hurting. He’ll calm down and then he’ll regret what he said. That’s just the way he is." Adam reached out and hesitantly put his arm around her and to his surprise instead of pushing him away, she just sat there unmoving. Moving closer he could feel the warmth of her body next to his, the way the smell of her perfume seemed to permeate through her. She glanced at him, almost as though she knew and moved away ever so slightly. For an instant he felt something akin to guilt from her, but then it was gone.
"When Masters threatened Mom, I felt so helpless," she continued. "What if he had tried it again and the next time we couldn’t stop him?"
"Masters is dead, Lisa. I saw him die. You don’t have to worry about him anymore." He could see the disbelief reflected in her eyes as she stared at him for a moment, trying to take in what he'd just told her. He nodded, trying to reassure her. Part of him had always been relieved that his own parents didn't know about the Tomorrow People. At least that way they could never be used against him, but still part of him regretted his decision. He often wondered if they had tried to find him, had wondered why he'd just left one day without word. Maybe he should send them a card or something just to let them know he was okay, or maybe it was better in the long run for all of them if he just left things the way they were. He doubted they would react well to the news anyway. Even though he couldn't see them reacting as Kevin's parents had, part of him didn't want to put his doubts as to how they would react when put to the test. Sometimes it was easier just to pretend his past didn't exist, and just concentrate on building his future, a future which he was trying desperately to make Lisa a part of.
Lisa's look of disbelief vanished to be replaced by one of fear. He wasn't sure if it were fear for herself or for him. "But Adam, don’t you understand? There’s always going to be a Colonel Masters. If it’s not him, it’s going to be someone like him." He knew that, well at least part of him knew that. It was just that he tried not to think about it. Even though it was naïve, he hoped that one day the Tomorrow People would be able to just co exist on this planet, without having to always look over their shoulder and worry about people's reactions when they found out about their powers. Why did the human race always have to lash out at the things they didn't understand, the things that frightened them? As he searched for a response to give her, to make her understand that she had to move past that, her next words stopped him cold.
"Besides there’s other things to think about now."
"Other things?" What other things? What the hell was she talking about? Those words made him realise the he knew nothing about what she'd been doing over the past few years. Maybe she already had a full life, a life which had no space for him or the others. Don't be silly, Adam. Of course she has room for you. She's still a Tomorrow Person, whether she wants to admit it to herself or not. You've got to try and convince her of that.
"Other things." Lisa shifted away from him, suddenly sounding stiff and uncomfortable. She ran her hand across a pile of sand sitting on the flat part of the rock, tracing small triangular patterns in it as she spoke. Funny how they both seemed to be take refuge in playing with sand, when they were trying to hide their true feelings from others. Maybe it was easier to trace patterns than face up to the re-occurring patterns in their lives? "I’ve made a new life for myself. A life where no one knows about the Tomorrow People. I can’t go back to the way it was before. It’s too complicated."
"I can help you Lisa, we all can." Adam reached out to her again but this time she made a point of showing she didn't want him too close by moving away in a very deliberate action, that feeling of guilt once again coming from her. Whatever it was he was sure it was something they could sort out together. After all how complicated could it be?
"You don’t understand. I haven’t told Jamie. He doesn’t know about the Tomorrow People. I can’t expect him just to suddenly accept that side of me when I don’t even accept it myself."
"Jamie?" Who the hell was Jamie? Wasn’t that one of the names Jade had mentioned earlier?
"My fiancee."
Oh God.
Adam felt a cold hand crawl inside him, grab his heart and twist. "Fiancee?" he repeated, feeling himself go cold as he slammed his mental shields down fast. The raging current of thoughts and emotions he’d felt coming from Lisa suddenly stopped as she did the same. Surely she knew what those two words had done to him. She had to.
After what seemed like forever, Adam broke the long uncomfortable silence that had grown up like a wall between them. "You’re engaged to this guy and you haven’t told him you’re a Tomorrow Person?" He heard his voice saying the words, but part of him hardly registered that he was even speaking, the state his mind and emotions were in. Lisa engaged? She was going to marry someone else? How? Why?
"I’m not a Tomorrow Person." Lisa’s voice had a harsh quality to it that hadn’t been there before. "Haven’t you been listening?" He had been listening, that was the trouble. He'd heard what she'd just said only too well. Hadn't she been listening to him? Maybe he needed to resort to other means to make her understand.
[You can’t just turn it off, Lisa. Even if you don’t use your powers you’ve still got them.]
"You just had to do that to get your point across didn’t you?"
Adam decided to ignore that comment and continue with what had to be said before he lost his nerve. Even though he was hurting he had to put his own feelings to one side and point out the obvious, both for her sake and for her fiancee's. He spoke quickly; the sooner he got this out the better. "Have you thought about Jamie? You can’t be considering basing this marriage on a lie. And besides we don’t know what might happen if we have children. What if your kids turn out to be Tomorrow People? He needs to know what he's getting into now."
"I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it," she replied stiffly. And when would that be if ever? Surely she must have thought all this through or did she think if she ignored the possible consequences they would just go away?
"I think you’re already there," He pointed out, realising that someone had to. He loved her too much to see her get hurt over this later down the track. He knew full well that she wouldn't want to hear it, but it still had to be said. "You’ve got responsibilities. It’s not just about you anymore. You’ve got to consider what he wants to do, how he will feel about it." Adam listened to himself and felt something break inside. Here he was losing her to someone else and he was trying to protect that someone else. Even when faced with losing everything he still had to do the right thing, still had to think of the greater good. What was wrong with him?
"What if he thinks I’m some kind of freak? What if he likes me for who I’m pretending to be, not who I am? Or should that be what I am?" Lisa sounded scared, and a small ripple of hope ran through him as he realised that she'd used the word like, not love. Come to think of it, she hadn't once said she actually loved the guy. Surely if they loved each other, if she loved him, she'd trust him enough to know what would happen if she told him. Yes, but she hadn't trusted him enough to tell him the truth about herself had she?
"If he loves you it won’t matter." As Adam tried to reassure her, to say the right thing, his choice of words echoed through his mind. If he loves you it won’t matter. How could someone not love her? He had tried not to after she had left and failed miserably. The whole mess with Lucy Allen had been an example of him trying to move on after realising she probably wasn’t coming back. After that he had just buried his feelings along with that other things in his life that he hadn’t dealt with very successfully, and tried to forget. He’d been succeeding quite well or so he had thought. Until today that was, until now.
"I’ll do it when the time is right," Lisa promised, not sounding very convinced. Adam mentally rolled his eyes. The time would never be right, he knew that and he knew she did too. How the hell had he let his life get to this? Even with the opportunity to regain what he'd lost and put things back on track, he still couldn't seem to get it right.
She rose to her feet and glanced at her watch, shaking the sand out of her open shoes. "I have to go, Adam. I promised Mom I’d be home half an hour ago. You remember how she is."
Promised Mom or promised Jamie? The thought took Adam by surprise. Where had that come from?
Lisa was still talking. "I’ll keep in touch, promise." She closed her eyes, concentrated and teleported leaving Adam staring at an empty beach before he'd even registered that she was leaving him.
Promise?
Promises are made to be broken, he thought sadly. He'd never see her again, he knew that all too well. He stood there for a moment, lost in thoughts of what might have been, should have been.
Goodbye Lisa. Have a good life.
The cold wind whipped around him, and he hugged himself to try and keep warm. He felt a drop of moisture on his cheek and looked towards the sky looking for the rain he knew wouldn't be there. Must be seawater carried by that wind, he told himself firmly, ignoring the urge to stand there and just let the emotions out that he'd tried to keep a grip on all these years. He looked towards the heavens again for a few minutes and shrugged. What was the point anyway? It wasn't going to solve anything. Better to bury them again, back down where it belonged. If he let himself give into those feelings now, he'd be no good to anyone. He shook his head. Better to bury them, again, much better.
He walked along the lonely beach for a few minutes, throwing a few stray shells towards the waves as he gazed out to sea, trying to pull himself together before he headed back to the others.
The Tomorrow People.
His family.
His future.
Hopefully one day it would be Lisa’s again too.
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